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Horror movies are predictable

Alejandro Perez
Cover Story Editor

It’s Halloween. You’re too old to trick or treat so you’re stuck at home handing out candy.
You want something to pass the time so you put on the first horror movie you can find on Netflix.
Now there’s a chance it could be a pretty good horror movie, one that gives you a few scares.
But more than likely, it’s going to be a run of the mill b-movie horror flick. The kind of movies that you find in the bargain bin at Target.
It’s evident these movies really try to be scary, but they always manage to leave viewers unimpressed .
Usually it’s because they play on way too many cliches.
The same reoccurring elements that every horror movie seems to be smothered in.
One cliche that we can always find are the half-baked twist endings.
The kind of endings that leave viewers unsatisfied.
Long gone are the days when M. Night Shayamalan shocked moviegoers with his genius twist.
“The Sixth Sense” and “Unbreakable” serve as perfect examples of twist endings.
Movies that are not so perfect examples of twist endings, are the ones that make zero sense.
Picture this. A group of people are stuck in an erie mansion and gruesomely being picked off one at a time by a mystery murderer.
The movie comes to an end and the killer is revealed.
Was it the shady butler? Nope, it’s the soft-spoken maid, whose only motivation seems to be that she’s the last person you’d expect.
It pretty much boils down to a formula. The one who’s least expected is the guilty one.
Maybe it’s bad writing, maybe it’s a screenwriter trying too hard.
If I had a nickel for every time the movie ended with someone turning out to be a ghost, I’d have enough to fund my own bad horror movie.
Either way, these endings fail to surprise and make audience members groan.
Another cliche is the settings that every movie takes place in: the haunted house, the creepy summer camp, the rural farm.
“Hey kids! How about we spend the weekend at the lake where that kid drowned?”
“Sounds great dad!”
We’ve had our fill of it at this point.
One might think that the Manson family vacation homes might not be the best places to spend the weekend.
Another annoying part about horror movies is the low IQ’s everyone seems to have in them.
“Aw shucks our van’s out of gas! Let’s go to that abandoned hotel and see if someone can help us,”
Apparently no one in horror movies is a member of AAA.
“Dang it! I’m lost in the cornfield. Maybe those bloodstained children could give me directions,”
Ever heard of Google maps? Everyone has a smartphone these days. Might as well use them.
This brings me to my next point. There is always the protagonist that never thinks to call the cops.
He or she has a smartphone in their pocket, yet they feel the best way to be rescued is to run around in the dark screaming for help.
Unfortunately, the local law enforcement always seems to suffer from the same problem.
A lady calls 911 and reports a masked maniac chopping up people at the local farm.
In response, they send the lone rookie cop that tries to fist fight the six foot murderer.
In short, if you see a cop in a horror movie, don’t get too friendly with them. More than likely they’re just another body for the kill count.
All in all, the little things might be annoying, but there is still a satisfaction in watching them.
Besides it’s not like teens have anything better to do on Halloween.

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